Looking for my burning bush
by Christie Browning
This morning during my PB & J time (prayer, Bible reading and journal), I read about Moses in that pivotal Old Testament story when he was called to lead the Israelites out of Egypt but questioned his speaking ability to persuade Pharaoh.
My devotional, as well as popular thought, circled around the insecurities that Moses had when it came to his strengths. God told him in Exodus 4:11, 12 "Who gave human their mouths? ...Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." Even though Moses felt inadequate to speak with authority, God stepped in with a reminded that it was God who would make it happen.
Even though Moses felt ill-equipped for the calling, we never doubt that he was in fact called. The burning bush that spoke to Moses is a clear sign that this was a calling from God and that it was for him. Hello! It came with an audible voice that spoke his name!
In this devotional, the author rights:
"Moses knew with absolute certainty what God was calling Him to do. God confirmed it by speaking to him audibly through a burning bush. And Moses knew exactly what to say, what God planned to do, that God would be with him and that God would provide for them..."
She goes on to write about how Moses couldn't let his inadequacies hold him back when he knew very clearly what he was called to do, and she wrote words of encouragement for the reader to realize the same. But I am over here still stuck on the words, "Moses knew with absolute certainty...."
What if you don't know with absolute certainty? What if you are out of burning bushes and you are left to try to figure it out with your own heart, soul, and mind working together. Let me tell you, those three are never on the same page! I would love to talk myself past my inadequacies to deliver the calling God has placed on my life... but how can I do that when I am still stuck determining what the call is? Sometimes it feels as if the phone ain't ringing!!
I do love this one-liner from the devotional - "Moses doubted God had created him for the calling God gave him." That was good. Yes, I may doubt that I have what it takes for me to do what God has called me to do, but first I have to know what I am called to do!
So... I quieted my heart, slowed my mind, and remembered the things I am gifted to do, the things I love doing, and what I do that resonates with my soul. Those things are writing and speaking encouraging, empowering and inspiring faith-based things that help women shrug off their past and live lives full of purpose and significance.
In reality, I don't doubt the calling... I doubt the manner in which I deliver or live out the calling. I overthink the format I deliver the message, the platform I use, and I really over think the results that should come from it.
What if I just showed up and wrote or spoke from the heart... might that encourage someone? Might that spur another woman to explorer her heart and look for God in the middle of her story to tell? What if I took inventory of what resources I have to work with and just started there. I don't have to run to the end to see how it works out. God didn't call me to deliver some sort of result. He called me to use my gifts for His glory regardless of the results.
So today I look around and I see... I have website, I have a platform, I have an audience and even though I am plum out of burning bushes, the fire in my gut tells me this, right here -- sitting at my computer, typing these words -- this is my calling and I have been created to do it.